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Mary Kathryn Sherman grew up in the slummy suburbs of Winnpeg. Her mother was a crackwhore, her father a raging transvestite. She lived a quiet life, her only friends the local pedophile and a friendly squirrel. Mary did average in school until her sixteenth birthday when her father was abducted by the remaining decendants of the KGB and her mother took up with a Las Vegas blackjack dealer. She dropped out of school and got a job at the local ice arena, where her job was to sweep the shavings off the ice every 50 minutes. Deciding that this life just wasn't for her, Mary picked up and moved to New York, where she moved in with a middle-aged off-Broadway star named Chloe. Mary now writes in an advice column for a small-time newspaper, called Where Have All the Cookies Gone?, and makes enough to afford a mani-pedi every 8 days. You can write to Mary, but she doesn't want to hear from you anyway, so instead write to her fanclub, located in Detroit.

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